How will a divorce affect your children?

On behalf of Stange Law Firm, PC posted in family law on Friday, August 7, 2015.

The stress of a divorce can cause a great many difficulties for parents and their children. For the parents, there is the emotional disorientation of having your marriage move from exchanging wedding rings to exchanging court filings.

There is the confusing and technical language of family law and cold and seemingly mechanistic court proceedings, where you may feel as if you are pawn that is being “talked at” instead of a human undergoing a very difficult life experience.

And then there are the worries about your children. How will your divorce affect them? You may have seen news reports discussing the various negative affects attributed to divorce, and want to protect your children from suffering in that manner.

But it is important to remember that if you speak with the adult children of a divorce, they will often discuss the experience in more fundamental terms of, that stress, tension, discomfort, lack of love or emptiness.

Children desperately want to feel love from their parents, and when their parents have fallen “out-of-love,” they know it. They feel it, and everything from uncomfortable silences to shouting arguments or tense, whispered phone conversations communicates it to them.

Some adult children of parents who remained married will comment that they wish their parents had divorced, because their childhood was so tension-filled and uncomfortable. Dissolving a marriage is not what causes these tensions or discomfort, and in many cases, can reduce these problems by providing a legal solution to the relationship that has already ceased to exist.

The legal proceedings may seem foreign and distant, but your attorney can help you to understand the process and the information, and work to help you obtain the custody agreement, parenting plan, and settlement terms that will best serve your families future.

That is their job. Your job is to work to build a new relationship with your children and their other parent that ensures they recover that sense of love they desire.

Source:, “My Parents Divorced When I Was 5. This Is How It Affected Me,” Brittany Wong, July 29, 2015

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